Separaton Days: Part 3, ACC

On The Plate ... 2/23/06

Separation Days: Part 4 of 5

The State of the SEC, and more importantly, Vanderbilt Basketball

"It's amazing; I can read street signs but I can't make a 3-pointer." - Shan Foster, 'Dores' leading scorer after getting contact lenses

That pretty much sums up Vandy's season up to this point. Pretty awesome, huh? No, not kind of awesome. Right now, the Dores should be 17-6 and 8-4 in the SEC. Instead they are 14-9, 5-7. Dropping games at Memorial Gym to South Carolina and Georgia is more than inexcusable. Losing at 'Bama after giving up a game-tying dunk with one tick to go is downright despicable. But that's where the 'Dores currently sit…a pathetic 5-7 in the weak SEC. Remember when I wrote this nonsense in mid-December…

"Is it too early for me to write that Vanderbilt is going to win the SEC East? Good, I didn't think so. Yea, so my boys got throttled at home by 'Nati. But W's at Georgetown and at home over Oregon are promising. The SEC is down down down this year. If there was ever a shot to dethrone those blue and white wearing SOBs from the north and hang a SEC East banner from the rafters, this is the year."

After writing that, I find it ironic that the 'Dores are in fact trying to stay out of the SEC East cellar despite sweeping those "blue and white wearing SOBs." Craziness pie, if you ask me. In all seriousness, it's a damn shame that the 'Dores are not in better shape at this point in the season because when they play well they are pretty damn sharp. However, am I losing sleep over this season's woes? Nah, not really. The three stars for Vandy are all coming back - sophomores Foster and DeMarre Carroll and junior Derrick Byars. Throw in mentally challenged sophomore point guard Alex Gordon and the nucleus of a more veteran team is coming into shape for next season. Learning how to win close games takes time and maturity. I should know. I mean how many close-ass games did the 'Cats lose over the last 2 years as their Fab 4 learned to cope? A lot, and each L hurt. But now, after taking the pain, they know how to win. And it makes me happy. Maybe this youthful group of Dores will be able to flip the switch in '06-'07.

Or maybe that f'ing flip will get switched on Wednesday night when the Bayou Bengals come to Nashville. The '06 season ain't over yet, and I'm not folding my hand. Instead of chirping my "Dores in the 4" mantra of 2 years ago, I'm officially starting "4 more, Dores." Four games left. Four mandatory wins. No questions asked. Like Morgan Freeman said in Glory, "Gonna come a time when we all gonna hafta ante up and kick in like men, like men!" Well, GD, now is a pretty good time for the Mighty Dores to start kicking in. The slate looks like this…LSU in the Gym on Wednesday night, at South Carolina on Saturday in a "burn the CockaBoose" revenge game, at Ole Miss in a tuneup for the season finale next Saturday when those orange-clad bastards from Knoxville come in the real 'Ville: Music City.

Am I dreaming? Maybe. But the LSU game will go a long way in helping me figure out if I should wake up or not.

OK, so I know I wrote that I was going to lead into this column discussing the MDD game from Tuesday night between 'Bama and Arkansas. But let's be honest, nobody really cares about the SEC West anyway, not to mention the Tide and the Hogs. Except for the 18,448 crazed Hog fans who rocked the xrap out of the Bud Walton Arena. It was reminiscent of days when the likes of Mayberry, Day and the Big O held it down or Thurman, Williamson, McDaniel, Beck and Stewart rolled to back to back national championships. Ah, the Hog glory years…non-stop fun teams to watch.

Five observations from the game…

1. The average age on the Arkansas team has got to be north of 28. In fact, I think I'm being conservative with that estimate. North of 30 is probably more correct. Nothing changes on the Hogland Express.
2. Congrats to Stan Heath for scoring the first two marquee wins of his coaching career at Arkansas, both in the past week. First, on Saturday, he punks the Gators in Bud Walton and then his kids rally from an 18-point deficit to clip the Tide. Do you think Coach Heath is going to lobby for the Hogs to keep wearing their retro suits throughout the rest of the season? Yea, me too. The suits are money by the way. A pair of the shorts have been ordered online. They'll look like pants on me. Perfect.
3. If you don't know, get to know Arkansas' Ronnie Brewer before he's gone from the land of college ball. The kid can straight up get it done. He's the SEC's leading scorer at 18.5 a game, but his smoothness on the offensive end and tenacity on the defensive end are the things worth watching.
4. The Ronald Steele show was off the proverbial heezy…29 points, dropping 7 of 8 triples including a what-every-'Bama-fan-thought-was-the-game-winner bomb with twenty seconds to go to give the Tide a one point lead.
5. The clutch shots that were made in the last minute and half were impeccable…the Hogs' Charles Thomas keeps banging the boards and gets a garbage bucket to put the Stan's Ark up 2 with 1:30 to go, the Tide's Jean Felix answers with a 3 putting 'Bama up 1 with 1:21 to go, the Hogs' Eric Ferguson returned the favor with a 3 of his own to put the Hogs back up 2 with 0:51 ticks left, Ronald Steele hits a moonshot putting the Tide back up 1 with 0:36 to go, and finally money Ronnie Brewer banks in a game-winning driving one-hander in the process of getting fouled with 0:20 to go. Awesome back and forth. It was especially electrifying with the Original Genius Brad Nessler and the El Paso Kid Jimmy Dykes calling the game.

(For the record I'm joking about no one caring about the SEC West…I love the SEC West. It's bandit central, and I like to consider myself the #1 preacher for some good old-fashioned gold teeth, big tattooed, yap-talking, three-point chucking, alley-oop dunking ball. That's the SEC West I love. So when it sucks it kills me. And it has sucked for years. The fact that the Hogs are making a late charge toward the Dance makes me happy as a mofo.)

So who's going dancing from the SEC? Tennesse, Florida, and LSU are all in. At 15-10, 8-5, 'Bama is in with one more win. Why? With a #4 strength of schedule and a #39 RPI, a 9-7 conference record should do the trick. And that shouldn't be a problem. They finish the season with Florida and Auburn in Tuscaloosa followed by a season finale in Starkville. In other words, they'll likely be 17-11, 10-6 at season end, so count them among your at large players. Now this is where things get interesting…

Kentucky - I once said that the Wildcats would not Dance. Now I'm not so certain. What I am certain about is the fact that UK needs to beat Ole Miss in Lexington on Wednesday night. A W gets them to 8 wins in the SEC with a brutal schedule coming home - at LSU, at Tennessee, Florida. Here's the deal after beating the Rebs…win one of those last three games and I think they're in. But going 0-3 over that stretch pushes them directly into the middle of the bubble mix heading into the SEC tourney. In other words, winning 1 or 2 games in Atlanta may be needed to guarantee a berth. And if Vandy gets hot, Ashley Judd & Co. might be f'ed no matter what because the 'Dores brought out the brooms on the Wildcats. Sorry Ashley.

Arkansas - Are the Hogs worthy of a dance card? If they keep winning games like they have recently, then they are. However, it's gonna be tough to keep their streak alive. On Saturday, the Pig Sooey head to Knoxville to tussle with the Vols. Probable L. But next week they host Mississippi State and end the season in Athens. Winnable games indeed. Asterisk the game in Athens. It might be Arkansas' own DBD. It also might be a good game to bet on the Dawgs…nothing to lose for the Dawgs, everything to lose for the Hogs. I can rhyme. The El Paso Kid said that he thinks Arkansas needs to win out to dance. He might be right, although finishing 9-7 in the conference makes a big case.

Vanderbilt - 4 more, Dores.

Buckle in kids…there is a lot of ball left to be played that can change the dynamic of the entire bubble. Arkansas should be watching Seton Hall scores. Maryland should be watching Indiana scores. Cincinnati should be watching Colorado scores. Everyone should be watching Missouri Valley Conference scores. In other words, watch everything because as everything plays out the Bubble Pie's ingredients will change dramatically.

On the flip, we head out to the Big 12 Plains and try to figure out how the hell the Jayhawks got so good, why the hell people think Texas and Oklahoma are so good, and if the hell any other team from that God-forsaken conference is good enough to snag a 4th bid to the Dance. Quick question: is it funny or sad that Baylor has the #1 strength of schedule in the country? I think it's both, but I'm not sure.