On The Plate ... 2/12/06

Inside the Belly of the Paranoia

First thing's first, the District officially loves the Hoyas like Tom Cruise loves himself. Second thing's second, being at the MCI Center in the middle of the Hoya Paranoia is nothing short of electrifying. Third thing's third, I don't like the Hoyas, never have and never will, but having a basketball city come alive in February to rally around a team rapidly ascending the national rankings is pretty f'ing fun no matter if the team that is on the rise gives me nightmares. Hold up, let me check myself before I wreck myself…there's no love lost here for the kids at GW…I know they are 20-1, #8 in the land, and have a more than a legitimate shot at running the table in the A-10. But in all honesty, Colonial fever doesn't hold a candle to the Paranoia. That's how it is, and frankly, how it has always been. Hoyas and the Big East carry the big stick in the nation's capital and I'm good with it.

Quick question: why don't the Hoyas and Colonials play every year? You want to talk about a potential killer rivalry? Hell, I can throw a f'ing rock from one campus to the other. You would think that instilling this rivalry would only help pour a little gas on an already well stoked "hoops in DC is back" fire, right? And it might give the GW folks some more ink in the District's eyes, right? God knows it would cause an absurd amount of fights in sweaty college bars like McFadden's and Third Edition, right? Triple right…get it done Hoyas and Colonials. It'd be money.

OK, so why all the Hoya chatter? Well, within the past week, I've made two trips to the MCI Center to get some Big East oxygen in my lungs and to get an up front taste of the Paranoia. Last Thursday I rolled into the soon-to-be-Verizon Center with the PartyBoy for the St. John's game. A little Rivalry Week on ESPN…a little Red Men at Hoyas….a little moneyness. (For the record, Red Storm is degrading to all natural disaster victims. Bring back Red men…the Native Americans do not care…they love Red Men, like they love Redskins. They're down with this, I'm telling you.) Anyway, the District was hot hot hot. 7th Street was bumping like a junior high mixer when the Humpty Dance comes on. Like the classy gentlemen we are, we took our game to the new Clyde's upstairs bar where only the Klassiest with a K folks roll deep. After high-fiving several Dale Jr's, we cruised into the madness of the MCI Center where I found out that we weren't sitting in the upper deck, but were sitting 8 rows off the floor directly behind the Red Men bench. I liked this, didn't I? Indeed, very much so. 5 observations from the inverse nose bleeds…

1. When you watch games on TV, or even in the upper decks, you tend to forget (or at least I do) how big these dudes actually are and how little space there is on the floor. Due to the vicious Hoya defense, the Johnnies were all out to find any way to create space for themselves either off the bounce or off the perimeter swing. On one hand it was amazing, on the other, embarrassing.
2. The Hoyas' Brandon Bowman and Darrel Owens shorts aren't in fact shorts. They're pants. Or at the very least, they're what I believe the English call "clam-diggers."
3. A kid in the G-town student section held up a sign that said "Jeff Green Can Touch MC Hammer." That kid is a GD genius.
4. The fact that the MCI Center was loud, and the lower deck folks were borderline psychopaths made me happy. Georgetown should be good. And the District should be nutty over them. Well, the Hoyas are good and the folks are nutty. Respect.
5. JTIII is officially the crown prince of the city. The G-town students wear t-shirts with giant Roman numeral 3's on the back that say "Respect is back, fear is next." Solid. Queue up the Empire music. I don't know about folks in Storrs or in Morgantown, but the absolute beating that the Hoyas put on the Redmen made me scared for when the Paranoia heads to Philly to face the 'Cats on Feb 19.

Speaking of folks from Morgantown, I was accompanied by about 5,000 Mountaineer fans on the Metro en route to Sunday's big time Big East matchup of Team Pittsnogle at the Hoyas. I've never seen so many Wrangler jeans, bowie knives clipped to belts and Mountaineer windbreakers in one place before. It was truly a sight to behold. Anyway, despite having to fight their way through 8 or so inches of snow that got dumped on the District the night before, the folks on the streets were live for this game. And all the characters were out. Each corner of the MCI Center was held down by about 15 dudes in various leather/fur coats working the scalping scene. A group a kids who looked like they were contemplating killing a few people on this chilly night were freestyle rapping in the stairs of the Metro. Hoya fans. A group of dudes in UAW jackets and pony-tails were chain-smoking, crushing beers and laughing that "I might be crazy" laugh at Gordon Biersch. WVU fans. In other words, it was totally f'ing on. Due to the sheer number of Mounty fans in the mix, the streets had a tournament-esque type feel to it, which was pretty damn cool.

So the Mayor, Cedric and me met up beforehand with the PartyBoy and Mrs.PartyBoy for a beverage or two at a joint called Emma's. For the record, they make a nice Dale Jr bottle there. After that, we split to the game where I was able to pick up my tickets from will call without any hassle whatsoever. (The MCI Center is so f'ing money it hurts. Everything about it is easy. Getting there is easy. Having a Jr at a money bar is easy beforehand. Getting tix from will call is easy. Solid like rock, homie.) The Mayor, Cedric and I had seats in the upper deck but lucked out and scored seats that were on the railing of the upper deck, kind of like the front line of the upper deck, if you will. This was obviously money because we didn't have to climb over anyone to get into the seats, didn't have to climb any stairs, had easy access to the Dale Light/hot dog concessions and easy access to the pisser. Simply put, the seats couldn't have been any more perfect. Five observations from the frontline nose-bleeds…

1. From the tip, the G-town student section traded their "Hoya Saxa" and "Let's Go Hoyas" chants with the Mountaineer faithful's "Let's Gooooo Mountaineers." When one section would start, the other section would try to drown them out and vice versa. It was a glorious mess of indecipherable noise.
2. A kid in the G-town student section held up a sign that said "Brokeback Mountaineers." That kid is a GD genius.
3. The Hoyas came to play in the first half. Especially their D. When back to back steals led to back to back reverse dunks by Green and Bowman, I thought the roof was going to come off the joint. The Paranoia was intense, and it helped the Hoyas shoot 62% in the first half.
4. Pittsnogle is an impossible matchup for a biggin'. I'm going to be real interested to see how UConn matches up against him this weekend. Yea, I know the Tattooed Wonder was shutout against Pitt, but I didn't see any of that game and everybody is allowed an off night. G-town center Roy Hibbert was the anchor on D when the Hoyas smoked the Johnnies. However, against WVU, he was rendered useless because he couldn't stay with Pittsnogle on the perimeter. Because of Pittsnogle's versatility, Hibbert only ended up playing 12 minutes, which in turn left Jeff Green to stick the 'Nogle. And that hurt the Hoyas in two ways…1) Green had to expend a lot more energy on the defensive end playing the 5 while guarding Pitts, and 2) Bowman was forced to play the 4, instead of the 3, which kept him preoccupied banging on the boards all game…a place he'd rather not be. The end result: Pittsnogle drops 25, going 10-for-15 from the floor including 3 triples. To Green's credit, he was absolutely fantastic on the offensive end. The 'Nogle couldn't guard him either. It just looked like Green got tired down the stretch from having to man Pittsnogle.
5. Despite being down 8 at the half amidst a raucous crowd, WVU never looked wigged once. And as the game hit crunch time, the experience of WVU shone. They made big shots, they forced turnovers, and they were all over the floor. On the flip, the inexperience of the Hoyas was their downfall. Too many missed buckets late, too many missed opportunities for a stop. Nevertheless, it was a helluva game. The final score is clearly not indicative of how close it was.

So what did I learn? I learned that I love going to big time hoops games. There's nothing like the electricity in the air. I learned that I like the District that much more when the Hoyas are good. I learned that the Hoyas are a very dangerous team, despite losing to the Mountaineers who are ridiculously good. And I learned that I'll probably be sitting somewhere in the MCI Center on February 22 when Big East leading scorer Quincy Douby and the Rut visit the District as well as on February 25 when old school Hoya arch nemesis - the 'Cuse - rolls into town in. Most importantly, I learned that the Paranoia is growing strong, and it's just another reason why the Big East is the best conference in the land…even though I hate the Paranoia.