On the Plate … 2/3/05

Get Out The Brooms

I got swept. Yep, swept in back to back nights. Say what? Studying for another one of the 57 God-forsaken tests I have to take "swept" me from watching any legitimate hoops on Tuesday and Wednesday. And, of course, much to my chagrin, the slate of games was finally legit. What a giant pain in the ass.

Thankfully, Kicking Bird, aka the medicine man, dropped off a little antidote to ease my pain. We all know what he dropped off, don't we? What's the most commonly used medicine for a giant pain in the ass? Yep, you guessed it. A sweep of the Volunteers. And the, dare I return to writing it with authority, mighty Commodores did just that on Wednesday night. Check it. Dores win by 5 at the Gym behind 30 points from freshman point guard Alex Gordon who was making only his second start all season. Is it me or are the youngin' Dores showing some umph? I believe, ladies and gents, that they are. And, let me tell you, man, nothing feels better than sweeping those SOBs from Knoxville. Nothing. They're the University of Tennessee, aka kingpins of bandit nation, and we're Vanderbilt. And we kick their asses on the hardwood. Absolutely perfect.

Well, because I got swept and those f'ing Vols got swept, I decided to make the theme of this bitch "getting swept." And oddly enough, the theme sort of fits with the action. Time to get my broom on.

Tuesday…

Illinois (81) at Michigan St (68) - The Illini complete the "sweep" of the two tough Big Ten road games - at Wisconsin and at Michigan State. Some folks might not think too highly of the Spartans. Granted they are #12 in the nation, but I can understand this sentiment to a degree. Nevertheless the Spartans are a whole different team in East Lansing. How different? They were 95-6 in their previous 101 games at home before Illinois came in and stoned them. Even more impressed with the Illini now? You should be.

Florida (57) at Mississippi St (68) - This one has nothing to do with a sweep. I just wanted to point out how far this once highly touted matchup has fallen. This one should have been a marquee gem. Instead it was just a SEC game on ESPN 2. Sad. Really sad.

Maryland (73) at Clemson (88) - From the Colonel…"That loud, sustained, thunderous thudding sound you heard this morning was the sound of the Maryland "faithful" jumping back off the Terps bandwagon." I couldn't have said it any better. The Terps caught the "post-Top 25-sweeping" flu and chummed on themselves in Littlejohn. No more positive vibes coming out of the CSG regarding the Terps. They'll only get me in trouble.

Wednesday…

Cincinnati (71) at Louisville (77) - I'm not going to write it, but I'm thinking it. And you know what I'm talking about. All I'm going to say is keep your eyes open. The Bearcats just got swept for only the second time in the 10 year existence of C-USA. Makes you think.

Arkansas (52) at South Carolina (64) - USC wins and keeps pace with the Dores for 3rd place in the SEC East. It's now inevitable that the Gamecocks are going to do their best to make the next month of my life as miserable as possible for me.

Virginia (79) at Providence (98) - Do you think that the ACC would give the Cavs a pardon if they just hung it up for the rest of the season? For the record, Providence is 0-7 in the Big East. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to catch my drift.

Virginia Tech (73) at Miami (63) - If however, you need a rocket scientist, luckily for you, here I am. The Hokies sweep the Canes in '04/'05 on the gridiron and on the hardwood. And both times in Miami. Impressive. Even more impressive? The Hokies are a miraculous 5-3 in the ACC. Wait, is that a miracle? Hmmm.

Texas A&M (65) at Oklahoma (69) - The Aggies are sweeping their way into me not caring about them anymore. It's unfortunate. Why? Because they really do have an absolutely glorious floor.

Duke (89) at Wake Forest (92) - Well, what do you know? The Blue Devils got swept on back-to-back ESPN ACC Wednesdays by two legit teams in Maryland and Wake. No more freebies for the Devs. Time to battle. The next three games for K's boys? G-Tech in Cameron, the Heels in Cameron and at Maryland. That smells like "put up or shut up" pie to me.

Villanova (76) at UConn (81) - I like to call this matchup the "perpetual sweep." Since February 18, 1995, when Villanova went into Storrs and dismantled the #1 Huskies 96-73 behind 37 from Kerry Kittles, it seems like the Huskies have owned the Cats. But not a "you are my bitch" ownership. More like a "we just win every time we play even though we probably shouldn't half of the time" ownership. It sucks. Tough loss for the Cats. And, no, I'm not bringing up Jay Wright's technical foul with 33 seconds left when VU was down three and had the ball. I don't know what happened. I don't want to know what happened. Piss.