On the Plate … 1/15-16/05

Now This is More Like It

As much as I love the ESPN ad with the UMass Minuteman and Andy Roddick, I wish that the Minuteman would pile-drive Roddick after swatting his ball away. Andy Roddick? Come on now. ESPN needs to make an ad with USC hoopsters Errick and Derrick Craven playing streetball versus teammates Rodrick and Lodrick Stewart. Now that would be an ad. If you think any of the aforementioned names are false, well then, apparently you aren't up on your Trojan basketball. Does Rick Majerus realize what he gave up? I don't think so. I've always said Tim Floyd was a smart man, haven't I?

For the first time in quite some time, I had the beautiful ability to sit on my couch all weekend and watch some TV. And believe you me, I did my best to engulf as much hoops as possible. And to help myself get "fatter" on hoops, I ordered ESPN's Full Court package. Needless to say, I was more than satiated. Like heavenly ham for TV. Obviously.

(Speaking of ham, other than hoops, I watched a boatload of Food Network over the weekend. Iron Chef America? Plentiful commentary down the road.)

Now to the ball…

A hot high noon among hideous games…

UMass (76) at GW (74) - Any game pitting a dude named The Big Deli versus a dude named Pops Mensah-Bonsu is worth writing about, right? Wrong. But making a note of Rashaun Freeman and his penchant for celebrating after making game-winning buckets is. UMass is now 2-0 against ranked teams this year after beating UConn and now GW. And in those wins Freeman has made the game-winner. What was his response? Against the Huskies, he ran into the stands with 4 seconds left leaving his team to play defense one man down for UConn's final shot. Against the Colonials, Freeman simply danced on the court with time still on the clock. My response? Brilliant.

Indiana (75) at Purdue (73) - I don't know if this was an old school gem or the worst game I've ever seen. A double-OT game in the 70's? Puzzling indeed. Here's a few things I do know - 1) Bob Knight should have been on the sidelines for this one. For Gene Keady's last homestand against IU, the General should have been present. 2) Keady's haircut is beyond unstoppable. 3) IU's freshmen are really good. If they had a real coach, IU would be ranked. 4) Here's a name to watch…Purdue's Carl Landry. The JUCO transfer can snap boards. 5) The ending of the first OT was unreal. The Hoosiers hit two free throws with .09 seconds left. Purdue answers with a Hill-to-Laettner-esque full court toss to Landry who makes a shot after the clock reads zeroes and the light goes off but the refs count it. AND, they call a foul. But Landry misses the free throw and the Boilermakers get smoked in 2OT. Wild, I think.

Seton Hall (63) at Pitt (67) - Remember a few weeks back when I said that Pitt was playing like one of the Top 5 teams in the country? I was drunk.

Clemson (57) at Virginia Tech (59) - It's good to see that Clemson is no longer the doormat of the ACC. Right.

To the biggins…

Louisville (69) at Cincinnati (66) - CBS gave me the pleasure of a live look-in after the 'Cuse/Providence game ended. Kindly, they gave me an opportunity to make some observations. What did I come away with? 1) Conference USA is still amazingly ridiculous. 2) Not to worry, Cincy's point guard Jihad Muhammud is from Plainfield, New Jersey. Yes, that's his name. 3) Does is surprise anyone that Jason Maxiell is now entering his 7th year at 'Nati? 4) UL's Juan Diego Palacios not only has the most majestic name in college hoops but he also wears Bobby Bowden-esque shades when he plays. One word…glorious. 5) My boys for the Cards, Taquan-"doe" Dean and Francisco Garcia, are still silly good.

UNC (82) at Wake Forest (95) - According to Dick Vitale, Rashad McCants is "the most offensively skilled player in America." According to my Dad, Rashad McCants is "the Ricky Williams of college basketball." According to me, Rashad McCants is "in need of a lithium prescription." It amazes me just how bizarre that kid can act at the most inopportune times. 3 fouls in the first half is bad. Committing your fourth foul 40 feet from the basket with 17 minutes to play in the second half is inexcusable. And then McCants had the gall to stare down the ref. I wish Brad Nessler would have said, "Sit the F down, McCants," but I guess you can't say things like that if you are an announcer. I've said this before and I'll say it again - I think Roy Williams absolutely hates McCants. Roy can't wait for this kid to leave. He's too much of an enigma. 3 more thoughts from the game - 1) It's amazing what happens to UNC when they are forced into playing a half court game. May looks fat and slow, Felton takes a ton of bad shots, and the "deep bench of amazing players" turns into a "skinny bench of marginal players." 2) Shame on me, but now I believe in Wake. Their kids can are far from soft. I mean how good was Taron Downey? 3) Let's play the "If they beat them, then how good is…" game. If UNC rocked Georgia Tech and Wake rocked UNC and Illinois rocked Wake, then how good are the Illini? If Oklahoma State worked Syracuse and Gonzaga worked Okie State and Illinois smoked Gonzaga, then, again, how good are the Illini? Hmmm.

Syracuse (75) at Providence (71) - You heard it here first…the key to how successful the 'Cuse is this year is Josh Pace, not Jerry McNamara or Hakim Warrick. Don't get me wrong, McNamara and Warrick are great but who does Syracuse go to for big buckets? Pace. If you've watched the Orange this year, you know I'm right. And in this game, Pace sealed it by making big runners down the stretch. Two thoughts - 1) The "Orange" is the most pathetic nickname is D-1. Were women at Syracuse really offended by "Orangemen"? Really?!? Did the university consider "OrangeWomen" for the ladies' teams? Man, I have spent entirely way too much time trying to figure this absurdity out. Now, I'm stopping. 2) Providence's Ryan Gomes still plays like the All-American that he is, but as some point, he's got to lead his team to some big wins. He's 0-for so far this year. And don't forget that the Friars faded into the Dance last year and lost in the first round.

Temple (69) at Maryland (80) - Why do I hate the Terps? Because their fans drive me f'ing nuts. Do you have any idea how many times in the past week I've heard "Maryland sucks" from hardcore Terps fans? People around here think that because MD lost big at UNC and at Wake that the Terps are now Clemson. It's like I've always said - Nobody sells their team down the river faster than a Maryland fan. The truth of the whole matter is the Terps are OK. Yea, they aren't UNC and they aren't Wake. But not many teams are. Beating Temple (a good Temple team that may make the tournament) is exactly what MD needed - a good, solid win. And as much as I hate to say it, Gary Williams will right the ship by March. He always does.

Florida (82) at Vanderbilt (65) - Ouch!

Georgetown (66) at Villanova (64) - Pain. Extreme pain. That's all I have to say about this. Thank you, Washington DC, for televising the GW and George Mason games but not the Georgetown game. Top-notch effort.

Slant on Sunday…

Virginia (66) at Duke (80) - UVA is now 0-4 in the ACC. Pete Gillen is once again sweating. His tenure in Charlottesville should be over at the end of this year. Period. On the other side of the ball, Duke may be the most overrated undefeated team in recent memory. Yes, that makes sense. I know they are undefeated. Yes I said they are overrated. Memo to the Devs - play someone legit, win and gain my respect. For the record, apparently the "Chris Duhon-scream-after-every-play" disease has spread to the entire Duke team this year. Oh, how I hate it.

Georgia Tech (68) at N.C. State (76) - Makes sense. I open my yap, slap around the Wolfpack and they respond by beating the Jackets. Wonderful.

Michigan State at Wisconsin - I watched the other football game on TV during this one. Ha ha. 38-straight at home for the Badgers is no joke. What is a joke is the Big Ten.

FYI, I actually hit a bet this weekend. Patriots plus-1 and the under (52). Parlay style. It's true…I am back. I'll be back with more Thursday or Friday.