On the Plate … 12/01/04

Need a Drink for This One

Bartender: "A drink for you sir?"

Me: "Uh, yea. I'll have a Championship Week-Challenge martini up with an ACC twist. Um, and while you're at it, let me also have a Coaching Carousel & Tonic with a splash of Ty Willingham. I'm going to double-fist it tonight."

Yea, it's been, and going to be, that kind of week. I was all buckled in for the 4 Championship games on Saturday plus the ACC/Big 10 Challenge during the week. And then, oops, kick in the nads, Ty gets canned. Talk about throwing some gas on the fire. Or starting a fire and then throwing gas on it. Or having a tank of gas and then lighting it on fire. All I know is that this Willingham thing involves fire and some gasoline. Or does it?

I've read a few articles and watched a few clowns on the tube responding to the firing. And none of them have mentioned the obvious. What's obvious? Ty got fired because Urban Meyer is in the mix for a big coaching job. It's simple. And no one is talking about it. Like my buddy The Mayor said, "None of these F's have any clue what is going on." Right on. Fact: Urban Meyer has an out option in his Utah contract for Notre Dame. In English, that means that Meyer can leave Utah without penalty if the ND job becomes available. Remember that Meyer was an assistant coach under Bob Davie in the mid-90s at the Golden Dome. ND is his self-proclaimed "dream job." How are folks not linking Meyer being at the top of the Florida head coach list and Willingham getting fired? UF can easily buy out the rest of Meyer's Utah contract. And they would give him a ton of dough. The way the Irish figure is that if Meyer goes to UF, he is gone for good. In other words, if they want Meyer, this is the last chance to get him. So what do they do? They punt Ty in front of the Florida vacancy getting filled and, more importantly, right after Butch Davis gets the axe from the Cleveland Browns. Why does Davis matter? Because Davis' availability immediately puts him at the top of the Florida list with Meyer. Now, everyone gets their man. The Irish boot Ty to steal Meyer from UF. But UF doesn't care because the Gator boosters want Butch just as much as Meyer, if not more. And Ty heads back out west to electroshock Washington back to life. Interestingly, Ty talked to Washington two weeks ago. Any chance that this was a mutual agreement between Ty and the Irish? Any chance that Ty and the ND warlords schemed this scenario up a week ago? Hmmm. Here's one guy that thinks that is the case. And if anyone thinks that Notre Dame and Meyer have not had talks about the possibility of Meyer coming to ND (with or without a Ty/ND scheme), well then, you clearly haven't taken your medicine today.

Do I agree with Ty getting the boot? Not really. I'm not sure what the Irish Board of Directors expect. It's pretty straightforward. You can't win unless you get guys. Rephrase: you can't win it all unless you get guys. Miami, Texas, Oklahoma, LSU and USC get guys. ND could have Touchdown Jesus come off that wall to coach the Irish and still go 6-5 headed to the Insight Bowl without the right players. It's that simple. So in three years, to go 21-15 with 2 bowl appearances, with a group of kids that clearly weren't of "BCS caliber" is pretty good in my opinion. But on the flip, Ty didn't exactly knock the wizz out of the recruiting either. In fact, the Irish flat out had a poor recruiting class this year. And frankly, I think that is what did Ty in. The shot-callers at ND thought Ty would bring in the studs. He didn't. I can only assume that the higher ups in South Bend think that Meyer can do better. For the Notre Dame's sake, I hope so.

Moving on...

When are they going to change the name of the "ACC/Big 10 Challenge" to the "ACC/Big 10 Biatch-Slapping"? It's bordering on ridiculous. OK, that's a lie. It is ridiculous. What are the geniuses thinking who keep putting this thing together? "Hey, let's have a 6th annual ACC/Big 10 Slaughtering. I mean it was so much fun last year when the ACC won 7 of the 9 games. It'll be great. We'll showcase how far the Big 10 has fallen as a conference and we'll put Duke and UNC on TV for the 23rd time this year. Yea, that'll be fun. Maybe, if we're lucky, the Indiana student body will all light themselves on fire. This is a good idea. This really is a lot of fun. In fact, it is a bag of fun. A veritable grab bag of fun." Is that what they are thinking? Hey guys - the Big 10 is awful. The ACC is loaded. Find a new Challenge! How about the ACC/Big East challenge? I know. I know. That's way too much to handle. The idea is way over the top. But I think that maybe, just maybe, it could work. Let's see. We could have a UConn/Georgia Tech championship rematch. A Syracuse/UNC gem in the Carrier Dome. A Pitt/Wake Forest brawl in Winston-Salem. A Notre Dame/Duke game to make Dick Vitale's head explode. Yea, those games might be a little more fun.

Speaking of the current "Challenge," here are a few tidbits from last night's "better than I expected" action...

Maryland (64) at Wisconsin (69) - Can one team's defense negatively effect the defense of its opponent? Why do I ask? The other night against Memphis, Maryland looked like old school Arkansas playing "40 minutes of Hell"-style D. It was a thing of beauty. But last night Maryland went to Madison to face the notoriously ferocious D of the Badgers (who had just gotten crushed at Pepperdine) and couldn't stop Wiscy's Alando Tucker. And Tucker is not nearly as good as Memphis' Rodney Carney who the Terps shut down 5 nights ago. To add to this point that doesn't make any sense, UM's John Gilchrist was 2-for-14 from the field with only 6 points. So I ask again, can one team's defense negatively effect the defense of its opponent? Apparently so. (The obvious answer to this question is 'yes' because good defense makes teams tired. But let's just ignore that.) What I am trying to say is that Wisconsin's good defense made Maryland's defense not so good. This might be the dumbest thing I have ever written.

Michigan State (74) at Duke (81) - 3 things: 1) I was deliriously tired last night while watching this game. I don't have any X's & O's to talk about. Sorry. 2) According to Dicky V, JJ Redick lost 25 pounds in the offseason. Is that a good thing? It ain't like the kid was obese last year. 3) Although they lost, I think the Spartans might be back in the top echelon of the hoops world. They looked considerably more mature on both ends of the floor than they have since the Mateen Cleaves era. And frankly they should - Alan Anderson, Kelvin Torbert, and Chris Hill have been on the team for 7 years.

FSU (70) at Minnesota (69) - 3 things: 1) The Noles new uniforms are hideous. In fact, they are Jetson-like. 2) I thought that FSU would be good this year. They have a lot of young talented players. I chirped about this all last spring. Guess what? So far they suck. They have losses to Texas A&M-Corpus Christi, Kent State and TCU. Yes, they lost to Texas A&M-Corpus Christi. That was not a typo. Just wanted to clarify. 3) Read the last 3 sentences starting with "Yes, they lost to..." That should tell you how bad Minnesota is. When is Dan Monson going to get fired? He came over from Gonzaga with so much potential a few years back. And now the Gophers are the doormat of the Big 10. Time to sharpen the axe in Minneapolis.

Michigan (68) at Georgia tech (99) - If Arizona beat Michigan by 1 point and Wake beat Arizona by 3 points and Georgia Tech beat Michigan like they just sucker-punched a blind kid, shouldn't Tech be #1? Using my "theory of circularity," the answer is yes. For the record, I just named the "theory of circularity" and I like it a lot. It's a rationale that I always use so why not give a stupid name? Genius. The kicker is that Wake plays Illinois on Wednesday night. A Deacons W would trump the "theory of circularity" in this case. You see, it's just like pinochle. Of course it is.

For the record, I read a few old CSG columns from last spring during March Madness and I now have the fever. Oh sweet, sweet March. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Reread the last sentence with the tune of "Holly Jolly Christmas" in your head.

Looking to the 4 (yes, 4) Championship Games this weekend...

Tennessee at Auburn (-13.5) - This game is a classic case of "one win away from..." versus "having to beat the same team twice in one season." If Auburn was playing Georgia, I'd be worried. But they're not. They're playing a Volunteer team that barely, and I mean barely, beat UK last weekend. In addition, the Vols have already been embarrassed once this year by the Tigers. I should know...I bet on UT. And don't forget that the Vols are starting 3rd string QB Scott Clausen who is terrible. Yea, I don't think that the "beating the same team twice in one season" theory will apply to this one. In fact, I like the Tigers so much, I like them giving the 13.5. Remember, a Tigers humiliation of the Vols coupled with an OU stumble against the Buffs might get some attention in the BCS and spring Auburn to #2. Doubtful, but maybe.

Colorado (+22) at Oklahoma - If I told you that I thought Colorado had a shot to win this game, would you think I am crazy? Well, strap me in, because I do. I'm still not sold on the Sooners. Especially on D. And I think that the Buffs have potential to score some points. Bobby Purify not only has one of the coolest names in the country but I think he is one of the most underrated running backs in the country. Joel Klatt is a decent QB. Add in Joe Klopfenstein and Evan Judge running post-corners and the Buffs could cause some trouble. Joe who and Evan who? Watch the game and find out. The flip side to this Colorado paradise is 2-fold: 1) OU knows if they hammer the Buffs they will play for a national championship and 2) OU remembers what happened against Kansas State last year. Yikes. 2 ominous arguments against CU. OK, maybe the Buffs aren't going to win but they'll beat the spread. Klopfenstein says so. Take the Buffs and the deuce-deuce points.

Virginia Tech at Miami (-7) - You didn't forget about this Championship, did you? Hell, this should be the best game of the day. The two newcomers to the ACC duking it out on the final Saturday of the season for the ACC crown. Pretty interesting. I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't like the Hokies in this one. I'd also be lying to you if I said to bet against the Canes in a big game. I think the Hokies are better, but never, ever, never bet against the Canes when it counts. Right now, Brock Berlin is playing the best ball he has all season. Also right now, V-Tech is playing as the best team in the ACC. In other words, flip a coin. This one is a toss up. I'm lost.

Army vs Navy - The "Championship" that matters the most. The best tradition. This year's game should be better than the last few as the Cadets have found a resurgence under Bobby Ross. No bets on this one. Just respect.