On the Plate … 9/30/04

Grandeur and Delusions of Grandeur

Kids, I don't have much time but I know you are thirsty for a little CSG. It's been sparse. I know. I'm sorry. Moving to DC has been insane and the new gig has made me a broken man. Well not really. But waking up at 5am everyday has very little perks. Yea, that's right. I wake up at 5am. And guess what? It's 5:30pm right now and I'm still at work. This rocks! So I figured I'd give a present. You got it - the first DC CSG coming live from the office. I'll probably get canned in 17 minutes but whatever. The CSG might bend but the homeboy don't break. At least that's what some guy selling wicker shoes outside of my office told me this morning. Unfortunately I have to keep this very short and very sweet. The man is all up in my grill right now. I just wanted to reassure all 7 of you that I hadn't perished, I'm not in the clink and I didn't move to Laos. Just in the midst of a new town, a new gig and new "hours." Starting next week, I'll be back in the regular CSG swing. I think. Anyway, to the sweetness...

I've been speaking in the "Val Kilmer from Tombstone" voice ever since my boy Chris Rix went down with an ankle sprain against Clemson. The previous sentence needs no explanation. I'm giddy. Finally, well hopefully, a QB that plays within himself and doesn't make moronic mistakes. "Why Wyatt, that's a helluva thing for you to say to me." I'm beaming. For my sake, I hope that Wyatt beams too. (For the record, I can't write Wyatt's last name b/c if I do the email won't make it out of the building and I'll probably get shot on sight. His last name contains a "naughty word.") I'd love to write more on Wyatt but I'm on the clock.

I went to the Vandy/Navy game last weekend. A gem. The game was amazing. Dores lose 29-26. Navy's entrance was even more amazing. The Middies running out of the tunnel, huge American flag blazing and four jets screaming over the stadium. Goosebumps. I told my buddy, The Mayor, that I'm getting Navy season tickets next year just so I can see Navy's entrance. Well worth the price of admission. For the record, Vandy might have the greatest uniforms ever to grace a horrible team.

This weekend's picks...

Love the Canes -13.5 at Georgia Tech. G-Tech lost to UNC. Enough said. This is a lock.

Really like Kansas State +4 at A&M. A&M giving points? B/c they beat Clemson? Please.

Hate to say it, but I like the Vols -2.5 hosting Auburn. The game just smells like a typical Tommy Tuberville bust. FYI, Philip Fulmer smells too.

Kyle Orton's arm -2 at the Irish? Yea, I'll take it. I've already been wrong once betting against ND when they were getting points. I need to get even. And really, who have the Irish beat? Michigan. OK. But I'm not about to jump on any "Top 25 Irish bandwagon" after victories over Michigan State and Washington.

I have a rule of thumb. If the final score of a game is going to be 0-0, always take the team getting the points. Consequently, I like LSU +3 at Georgia. If UGa can't score against Troy, and you all know how much I love Troy (they were my lone pick last weekend getting 14 at South Carolina and they lost by 10 thank you very much), how the hell are they going to score against LSU? Uh, they're not. Kicker is neither will LSU. Their O is just as repugnant.

If you feel like taking a chance, take Kansas +13.5 at Nebraska. The Huskers lost at home to S. Miss and squeaked out a W at Pitt who nearly lost to Furman last week. Yes, Furman. The Jayhawks on the other hand have lost a heartbreaker last weekend against Texas Tech. Tech scored 26 straight points in the second half to beat Mark Mangino's squad. Look for the Jayhawks to come out throwing bows. Or throwing up.

Whoomp, there it is. I can't believe I just wrote that. And you thought I couldn't go stupid old school...

I'm out before I get canned. Or shot. Or unbored. I should be out of here in 4 or 5 hours, so feel free to give me a ring. I have lots of free time. Rad.