On the Plate … 9/15/04

Nothing Changes

When it ended I asked my Dad if he wouldn't mind running my face over with the lawnmower. He said, "Kid, if there was a game that ever deserved a mower, that one was it. Man, I'm sorry. That was brutal."

Yea, it was. Devastating actually. So devastating, in fact, that both of my buddies who live in Miami and were at the game called me afterwards to apologize for yet another Canes W over the Noles. No gloating, no yapping, no smacktalk. Only sympathy. Now that's serious. Especially from a pair of guys who were telling me to eat my own feces only 45 minutes earlier when the Noles led by 10.

The way I look at it is that this is a tradition that I am just going to have to accept. When the game is close, the Canes will always beat the Noles. ALWAYS. And that's just the way it is.

Another thing I am going to have to accept is the fact that Chris Rix is graduating this year. What a f'ing shame. Riiiight. I think I am more excited about that SOB's graduation than I am for the rest of the season. The day that bastard leaves Tallahassee is the day I can begin to have hope again. He is single-handedly the worst player I have ever seen in a Seminole uniform. 0-5 against Miami. For the record, that's an NCAA record. No other college QB has lost 5 games to one team in his career. Except for my boy, little Chrissy Rix. Now that's special. I've said this the last 3 years, and I'm standing by it today: If the Noles had a decent QB, they would be national champions. They have bucketloads of talent at every other position. However, they have a mutt throwing the rock. It kills me. The dawn of the Wyatt Sexton or Xavier Lee era cannot get here soon enough. Believe me.

Regarding the turn of events of the game, where do I start? Do I even start? I don't know if I can start writing about the game without starting to drink. Let me just say this: when Beitia had the field goal blocked with 4 minutes and change to go I knew something bad was inevitable. I laid on the floor of my parents place thinking to myself "here we go again." And again we went. Incomplete pass on 3rd and long instead of running more clock (I hate Jeff Bowden), the long completion from Berlin to Ryan Moore (how the hell did the FSU D allow that to happen), the 15-yard tack-on for the roughing the passer (I love Eric Moore, but I wanted to cut his heart out after that), and the slip screen that went for the TD (baffling). When the clock struck overtime, I had given up. Party over. Another Noles defeat in the OB in a game they should have won. I guess that's my angst with the whole damn series. So many of the games that the Canes win, the Noles should have won. Missed field goals. Botched fourth quarter leads. I think Bobby Bowden summed up not only the game but the entire series over the last 15 years perfectly when he said, "We had a chance to put them away and didn't. They had a chance to put us away and did." That's the f'ing truth.

Unfortunately for me, it is another year of "what if FSU had beaten the Canes." Fortunately for me, however, the Noles' QB is Chris Rix and there are 10 games left. 10 games left for that f'ing prick to completely screw up. If the Noles had beaten the Canes, it probably wouldn't matter in the long run. FSU will lose at least once more this season. Nevertheless, it sure would feel nice to be 1-0 with a win over Miami heading into the rest of the season. Yea, it would.

Moving on…

So I blew it on my parlay. Big time. UConn wins by 2? Horrible. The Irish stun Michigan? Ridiculous. And Wake didn't cover? They suck. Sorry kids. It's never too early to throw a big fat "L" on the board, is it? Nah, just ask Chris Rix. On the bright side I was all over Fresno and G-Tech which helped salvage my weekend from the level of absolutely deplorable and bring it to the level of mostly deplorable.

There are two gems this weekend in the SEC. LSU at Auburn and Florida at Tennessee. I'm impartial as to who wins the Tigers vs Tigers game. Regarding Gators / Vols, this game is the only game of the year in which I root for the Gators. Why? Because I love to see that dumbfounded, pained look on that fat bastard Philip Fulmer's face after the Gators whip his boys into shape. Let's go Gators.

Picks for this weekend…

I hate the lines this week. Nothing too intriguing. The solo game that has caught my eye is Marshall at Georgia. The Thundering Herd is getting 18 ˝. Seems like a lot of points to give a team that was one 55-yard field goal away from going to overtime at Ohio State last weekend. And it isn't like Georgia has impressed the xrap out of me in its first 2 games. They struggled with Georgia Southern and should have lost last week in Columbia, SC to the Gamecocks. 18 ˝? Seems steep, right?

Oh, and so you kids know, I'm moving down to the District next week. Got me a new gig. Don't worry, the new employer allows office high-stepping. Caucasian Primetime will still represent. Consider this the beginning of the CSG going global. International stardom is right around the corner. I can feel it.